TV Non-Review: ‘Problems’ by Sam Simmons

This blog post is inspired by one of my favourite comedians, Sam Simmons. His new show Problems launched last night on ABC1 and really spoke to me.

If you’re unfamiliar with Sam Simmons imagine the weirdest thought you’ve ever had, put it in a giant moth costume, make it bald, give it a bushy moustache and dress it in bread shoes (“loafers”). I’ve seen him perform live a couple of times and enjoyed every moment of his silliness. If you know The Mighty Boosh (which you should, it’s hilarious) maybe the fact Noel Fielding described Sam as ‘weirder than the boosh’ will mean something to you.

Problems includes characters such as Sam, his cat Mr. Meow-gi, the moths that live in his couch, the $2 shop owner and more. The problems are real and the drama is heated. If you missed it you can catch it on iview (not sure that’ll work outside of Oz).

I wanted to review it, but there was no way a regular TV review could do it justice. So instead I’m just going to list a few problems of my own:

  • One time I bought a top thinking it was black, but it was really more of a dark grey.
  • That Cuddly fabric softener ad. That’s a problem. All those small children mispronouncing their words? *shudders*
  • My BODYPUMP instructor winked at me during the bicep track. I didn’t know what to do. Was I supposed to wink back? I’m not sure I could wink without it looking at least a little bit creepy. Does everyone look creepy when they wink? I think so.
  • Today it took me ages to get my carton of milk open… then I saw the helpful ‘Open Other Side’ direction.

  • My room is full of mosquito’s that only come out when the lights are off and I’m just about to fall asleep. They enjoy biting my face. Often I’ll lie in bed hitting my face as I think they’ve landed there. At this point, the mosquito’s have already won. The other night I left them a decoy leg out of the covers, all like ‘fuck it, just take a leg instead!’, but they weren’t interested and went right for the left eyelid. Arseholes.
  • Sometimes I forget my washing is on the line and it’s out there for ages and ages.
  • I’m now uncertain about the winking thing. Maybe he was actually winking at the guy behind me.
  • People on the street holding hands and walking slowly.
  • Often on a date the waiter will bring me the wrong meal assuming I’m having the fish and my date is having the steak/burger/man biscuits. Then we have to switch.
  • Nobody makes mixtapes anymore.
  • Birds… like what even is their deal?
  • Sometimes it’s really hard to get out of bed in the morning.
  • Reading any comments section of any website.
  • Singing happy birthday. It’s awkward for everyone.
  • Maybe winking should just be a no-go in any circumstances, too much confusion and ambiguity on how to respond.
  • When I get caught prematurely unzipping my pants on my way into the ladies room.
  • Not being able to think of a clever way to end this list

What about you? What are your problems?

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10 thoughts on “TV Non-Review: ‘Problems’ by Sam Simmons

    • Oh that’s a shame! I found it pretty funny and was giggling away, but can see what you’re saying. It’s definitely not for everyone. Maybe it will build more as the series continues. Do you think you’ll watch it again?

  1. I hope it does get better. But that first episode just wasn’t very funny. It’s not that “it’s not for everyone.” Funny is funny. This wasn’t very funny. The sketches were too long, repetitive and lacking strong comedic premice. The best part was Sam going on his Taco journey which, despite what absurdist barries he thinks he may be breaking, was very, very Boosh like. The show would have been 100 times better if it was 10 minutes long, and just followed that narrative.

    • Well I found it funny… little walnut man… so it was funny to me! Don’t you think people have different tastes when it comes to comedy?

      It’s not perfect, but it’s nice to see some fresh Aussie comedy being created and I enjoyed watching it.

  2. That’s my problem too. And that I’ll have to suffer through it before Red Dwarf comes on. Looks like iview may be an option. My thought process went something like “Mmm.. mmm… mmmm… is that Suzy Porter, yes it is, mmm… bloody hell this is tiresome. OK, that was quite funny. Mmm .. Mmm… No, mainly just tiresome”

  3. main problem as a bush fan – take the moth scene. que the outlandish premise and the star cameo’s, then what. You then deliver an almost straight and stereotyped drunk man confronting his wife scene barring the moth premise. It’s almost like he stopped the thinking at coming up with a bizarre comparison, like that was enough (like a fairly generic sketch show). With the bush it was never about ‘look at me im strange’ -then stop thinking-, everything seemed to be about the witty interactions of the main characters.

    • I can see your point, but I sort of think that’s why it’s funny. He’s taken a ridiculous concept of the lives of the moths living down the back of the couch, and given it this very real drama that’s so normal. It’s misplaced and that’s why I find it funny. I’m a massive Boosh fan too, but I think they’re funny in different ways. Aaawwwwwwwwwwwwww.

  4. Pingback: A Christmas Letter to William | The Naked Envelope

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