How a First Date is Like a Job Interview:

  • Sometimes it’s over before it’s even begun
  • They both involve a lot of thought about what to wear
  • You get sweaty with anticipation
  • You want to be on time – something you care for little once you’ve scored
  • Both are generally mildly to extremely unpleasant experiences
  • They are high-risk situations, with potentially high rewards
  • At least one person is out to impress
  • The question “where do you see yourself in 5 years” could be asked in both. Evidently ‘not with you’ is an unsatisfactory reply to this question in either circumstance.
  • You try to keep all the shitty things about you a secret, at least long enough until you’ve won them over with your charms
  • You hold in your farts
  • Mid-way through telling a story you forget why you’re telling it and struggle to get to the point. You want a clever way to end things but instead just fade out to silence
  • Lies are told
  • You don’t want to appear desperate, but you want them to know you’re keen
  • If things go well you’ll usually go over the allocated time without realising
  • You don’t really want to explain why you left the last lover/job, but you have to be prepared for the question
  • You feign interest to what they’re saying even when you’re bored out of your mind, because you haven’t decided if you’re keen or not

Image

  • Just because you think it went well doesn’t mean it went well
  • They’ll call you

It will end one of three ways:

  • You are rejected and the pain makes you question all that is right in the world…Or
  • You reject them gently with some lie about how you’re not ready, but in reality you just want to wait for something better to come along…
  • You live happily ever after and never have to go on another first date/job interview again – yay for you!

ImageGood luck, you guys!

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