What would our society look like if it wasn’t for the seven deadly sins? The internet would sure be quiet place… you know without the porn (lust), every comment everywhere (wrath) and YouTube (sloth). We’d have no banking or financial services (greed), half the world wouldn’t be overweight (gluttony) and there would be no LinkedIn (pride) – actually social media wouldn’t exist at all (envy/pride/sloth/lust…). So if these sins aren’t really hitting home with people, and it’s too hard to change society, maybe it’s time we changed the sins? (This may be the easy way, but hey – I’m a sloth at heart.)
So what are our daily sins of the now?
- Running smugness: The act of connecting your Nike running updates to your Facebook feed. No one cares… especially the person you’re trying to impress by doing this. Sin is worse if you are training for a marathon you fit, healthy, early morning jogging jerk. Unsubscribe.
- Aisle seat insistence: Commonly seen on public trains. The act of making people climb over you to get to the seat on the other side while you retain the aisle position. You don’t even know who’ll be getting off first. Also, you refuse to stand up to let them pass, forcing them to put their arse in your face as they scramble over you – that isn’t the only reason we call you ‘arseface’.
- Wave denying: not waving when someone lets you into their lane or waits for you to cross the road. The “wave” makes up some of the fundamental fabric of societies delicate goodwill. Don’t be a fanny and let that thread unravel.
- Over-keen crowding: blocking access to the luggage carousel so nobody else can get to it; trying to get on the train before other people have got out; and jamming up revolving doors by squeezing too many people in. Settle down and stand back please.
- Personal perimeter crossing: Getting up in someone else’s space occurs everywhere. Not spacing out proportionally in lifts, setting up your picnic blanket a little too close, or sitting right beside someone when there are plenty of others seats free. The exact distance of being ‘too close’ varies by location, but once this invisible social barrier has been crossed the result is pure discomfort. Level of sin is worsened if bad breath or body odour is added to the mix.
- Ticket machine failing: you only get your train ticket as quickly as the person in front of you can manage to sort themselves out. Don’t let the rest of us down.
- Inside out dog-earring: no this isn’t a new sex thing, it’s a timeless command from Elaine. And if you haven’t seen that episode of Seinfeld, well that’s a sin too. Please just FOLD YOUR DOGS EAR BACK!
Any other suggestions?