Bah Humbug! Down with Christmas!

It’s beginning to look a lot like I AM GOING TO SHOVE THOSE CHRISTMAS BAUBLES UP YOUR CHIMNEY IF YOU DON’T BACK THE F*** UP, Santa! You too Rudolph, if that even is your real name…

Seriously get out of the way, scrooge is coming through with big plans to hate, hate, hate all over your Christmas.

Turning 18, becoming fully self-dependent, purchasing a vacuum cleaner… all things we use to classify the transition to adulthood – until now. Continue reading

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It’s the little things you miss…

I arrived in Perth two months ago today. It’s been a great adventure so far (more about that here) and things are going really well overall, but recently I’ve felt twinges and twangs of missing home. While this is totally normal, I’ve observed it seems to be the little things that I miss the most.

Some of the things I’ve been missing:

  • My nieces. Their little faces, their energy and their love. I hear about them from my family and we’ll sometimes have a chat on the phone so I know what they’re up to, but I miss hanging out with them. It’s the little moments like exchanging tips on how to draw the best fairies, getting hair styling advice and being schooled in how to draw unicorns (“mummy does it better”). I’m also worried they’ll forget who I am – not the twins as they’re five and I think we’re pretty solid, but Little A is only two – how much can a two year old remember? Should I be attaching my face to some My Little Pony’s so I remain top of mind?

Continue reading

When Hair Goes Wrong: How to Complain to your Hairdresser

Everyone has had at least one bad haircut…

And since our hair is linked to our self esteem when you’re not happy with how it looks it can bring you down. On top of this, you’ve probably scheduled the visit for a special occasion so not only do you feel bad, but now your rude head will be immortalised in your friend’s wedding photos.
donald-trump

There have been many instances when I’ve cried over a bad hair experience. Let’s skip over the times as a small child I would scream blue murder anytime a stylist came at me with scissors. (Do you blame me though? That box cut was unsightly.) Continue reading

Farewell, Dear Wisdom Teeth

A bright light blinds me as my eyes squint open and I try and make sense of my surroundings. A strange hand clumsily prods my face. I unsuccessfully try to sit up when a face with kind eyes and a surgical mask on appears and tells me to relax. It’s then that I realise it’s my own hand touching my numb, swollen face and I’m in a bit of pain.

I’ve just had all four of my wisdom teeth surgically removed in hospital. And now face a few weeks of recovery and a lifetime without my third molars. As I melt into a stack of pillows and bite down on the some gauze to stem the blood flow I think back… Continue reading

The Seven Deadly (Modern Day) Sins

What would our society look like if it wasn’t for the seven deadly sins? The internet would sure be quiet place… you know without the porn (lust), every comment everywhere (wrath) and YouTube (sloth). We’d have no banking or financial services (greed), half the world wouldn’t be overweight (gluttony) and there would be no LinkedIn (pride) – actually social media wouldn’t exist at all (envy/pride/sloth/lust…). So if these sins aren’t really hitting home with people, and it’s too hard to change society, maybe it’s time we changed the sins? (This may be the easy way, but hey – I’m a sloth at heart.)

So what are our daily sins of the now?

  1. Running smugness: The act of connecting your Nike running updates to your Facebook feed. No one cares… especially the person you’re trying to impress by doing this. Sin is worse if you are training for a marathon you fit, healthy, early morning jogging jerk. Unsubscribe.
  2. Aisle seat insistence: Commonly seen on public trains. The act of making people climb over you to get to the seat on the other side while you retain the aisle position. Continue reading